Like a horse and carriage, stress and pregnancy tend to go together. If you're one of those who can just let it all slide like water off a duck's back, good for you.
Others of us, though, are not so blessed. We have to wrestle with our darker thoughts, doubts and fears. These take the form of recurring questions for a pregnant woman. She wonders if her baby will be healthy. Is she eating properly? Is her sleep and exercise doing well for the baby? If she is a first time mom, naturally, she will often be grappling with her anxieties about whether she'll be a good mother.
I've never been persuaded by those who would have us regard stress as some sin or evil. Stress can be a very productive force in our lives. It facilitates our creativity, achievement and the ability to meet our responsibilities.
However, excessive, chronic stress is another matter. And, without doubt, the worst - because least productive - kind of stress is stress about being stressed. And, since excessive, chronic stress in pregnancy can lead to problems for the baby, stressing about stress in pregnancy is understandable and common.
The worst and most pointless stress is indeed stress about being stressed. Don't create a downward spiral for yourself.
Whenever an awareness of stressing over stress comes apparent to you, preventative action is prescribed. When you find yourself in that situation, there are two strategies I'd suggest you try: communicating and taking inventory.
If you're having concerns about the pregnancy, share them with your partner. I know that some pregnant women's stress is precisely over their partner: how is he handling it? Will he be able to cope?
Even if you feel that way about him, communicating is still the best policy. You could be surprised how relieved he might feel to have an opportunity to talk about it and feel less alone once you share your own unease. All the life changes of pregnancy are a lot for either of you to go through alone. And, even if he is totally fine with everything, the benefits to you are still immense. Just being able to express your doubts or fears can provide an amazing elixir.
There's tremendous benefit in going through these doubts together, feeling less alone. And, it is always striking how doubts and fears, like germs exposed to fresh air and sunlight, can almost instantly vanish once removed from their dark, festering place.
Friends are also valuable outlets for your communication needs. They don't even necessarily have to be mothers themselves. Your real friends are your friends because they're going to be there for you, whatever happens. Like a rock climber who gives some solid tugs on a line before lowering the full weight of her body onto it, just the occasional, reassuring touching base with your support network goes a long way to comfort you that you're not undertaking this great adventure alone.
The other strategy is to take inventory. If you're worried you're not eating enough or the right food. Not exercising enough. Whatever. Don't stew in self doubt.
My dear, you are after all living in the most remarkable age of knowledge access in the history of the world. You know, that little old Internet thing? Use it! A wealth of health information, from the most credible scientific medical and maternal care professionals, is available at your finger tips. So, if you start feeling yourself begin to stress out, about your dietary or other decisions, stop fretting and start researching. When you have doubts about what to do; find out what to do.
If you're not doing it, then do it. And if it turns out, as it probably will, that you're doing everything just find, then hopefully your mind will be put at ease.
However, it is true, that for some women, none of this solves the problem. If that's you, well, then, maybe you're just a worrier by disposition. Hey, some of us are wired that way; what's to be done? Well, that's still no reason to descend into a spiral of stressing over stress. There are many exercises you can undertake that have been time tested remedies to psychological stress, through the reduction of physical stress. Top of the list to start would be yoga, deep-breathing, meditation, massage, and warm baths. These things work!
Finally, as a general rule, please, expecting mom, give yourself time and space to relax. If you're a chronic worrier, it is likely that you're used to always feeling like you have organize and double check everything for everyone. If that's your nature then I say, in general, so be it. You are who you are, right? However, maybe, just while you're pregnant, you might want to give yourself a little break from all that. Once in a while you've got to put up your feet and chill. Others can handle the responsibility for a while. And another thing: if you have a job outside of the home, don't hesitate to take some time off. Cash in some of those sick days. After all, aren't you working 24 hours a day on the biggest job of all?
Stress only becomes a serious problem when we let it. Cut it off at the pass when you sense it arising and never allow yourself to dwell pointlessly upon negative thoughts. Instead, fill your mind with the peaceful anticipation of how wonderful your new baby is going to be. I hope that the suggestions above go a long way in helping you do so, and contribute to resolving your stress and pregnancy concerns.
Others of us, though, are not so blessed. We have to wrestle with our darker thoughts, doubts and fears. These take the form of recurring questions for a pregnant woman. She wonders if her baby will be healthy. Is she eating properly? Is her sleep and exercise doing well for the baby? If she is a first time mom, naturally, she will often be grappling with her anxieties about whether she'll be a good mother.
I've never been persuaded by those who would have us regard stress as some sin or evil. Stress can be a very productive force in our lives. It facilitates our creativity, achievement and the ability to meet our responsibilities.
However, excessive, chronic stress is another matter. And, without doubt, the worst - because least productive - kind of stress is stress about being stressed. And, since excessive, chronic stress in pregnancy can lead to problems for the baby, stressing about stress in pregnancy is understandable and common.
The worst and most pointless stress is indeed stress about being stressed. Don't create a downward spiral for yourself.
Whenever an awareness of stressing over stress comes apparent to you, preventative action is prescribed. When you find yourself in that situation, there are two strategies I'd suggest you try: communicating and taking inventory.
If you're having concerns about the pregnancy, share them with your partner. I know that some pregnant women's stress is precisely over their partner: how is he handling it? Will he be able to cope?
Even if you feel that way about him, communicating is still the best policy. You could be surprised how relieved he might feel to have an opportunity to talk about it and feel less alone once you share your own unease. All the life changes of pregnancy are a lot for either of you to go through alone. And, even if he is totally fine with everything, the benefits to you are still immense. Just being able to express your doubts or fears can provide an amazing elixir.
There's tremendous benefit in going through these doubts together, feeling less alone. And, it is always striking how doubts and fears, like germs exposed to fresh air and sunlight, can almost instantly vanish once removed from their dark, festering place.
Friends are also valuable outlets for your communication needs. They don't even necessarily have to be mothers themselves. Your real friends are your friends because they're going to be there for you, whatever happens. Like a rock climber who gives some solid tugs on a line before lowering the full weight of her body onto it, just the occasional, reassuring touching base with your support network goes a long way to comfort you that you're not undertaking this great adventure alone.
The other strategy is to take inventory. If you're worried you're not eating enough or the right food. Not exercising enough. Whatever. Don't stew in self doubt.
My dear, you are after all living in the most remarkable age of knowledge access in the history of the world. You know, that little old Internet thing? Use it! A wealth of health information, from the most credible scientific medical and maternal care professionals, is available at your finger tips. So, if you start feeling yourself begin to stress out, about your dietary or other decisions, stop fretting and start researching. When you have doubts about what to do; find out what to do.
If you're not doing it, then do it. And if it turns out, as it probably will, that you're doing everything just find, then hopefully your mind will be put at ease.
However, it is true, that for some women, none of this solves the problem. If that's you, well, then, maybe you're just a worrier by disposition. Hey, some of us are wired that way; what's to be done? Well, that's still no reason to descend into a spiral of stressing over stress. There are many exercises you can undertake that have been time tested remedies to psychological stress, through the reduction of physical stress. Top of the list to start would be yoga, deep-breathing, meditation, massage, and warm baths. These things work!
Finally, as a general rule, please, expecting mom, give yourself time and space to relax. If you're a chronic worrier, it is likely that you're used to always feeling like you have organize and double check everything for everyone. If that's your nature then I say, in general, so be it. You are who you are, right? However, maybe, just while you're pregnant, you might want to give yourself a little break from all that. Once in a while you've got to put up your feet and chill. Others can handle the responsibility for a while. And another thing: if you have a job outside of the home, don't hesitate to take some time off. Cash in some of those sick days. After all, aren't you working 24 hours a day on the biggest job of all?
Stress only becomes a serious problem when we let it. Cut it off at the pass when you sense it arising and never allow yourself to dwell pointlessly upon negative thoughts. Instead, fill your mind with the peaceful anticipation of how wonderful your new baby is going to be. I hope that the suggestions above go a long way in helping you do so, and contribute to resolving your stress and pregnancy concerns.
About the Author:
Whether it's you or someone you love is dealing with an unusually stressful pregnancy, you need to follow all the great info available on the Stress and Pregnancy blog. Also, have a look at this concise, articulate video about stress and pregnancy to be better informed. Knowledge is strength!
